


I've Had the Time of My Life

by Dance_of_Debauchery (ejdunlop)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Multi, Rated M for language...for now, Summer Camp, wherein I attempt fanfiction for the first time in many years
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 03:17:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1140801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ejdunlop/pseuds/Dance_of_Debauchery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren Yaeger is beginning his first summer as a counselor at Camp Maria, the backdrop of many of his childhood summers. Here begins his first summer on his own. He meets many a strange character and reconnects with some old pals. Enter Levi in a particularly awkward situation. Events ensue, they come together. Mostly fluff. </p>
<p>"The doorknob was cool to the touch of my clammy palm. This was it. Huron. Home for the summer, exactly where my map (and memory) had said it’d be. With a sigh and another heave of my duffel, I cracked the door. And promptly gasped."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome to Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song by Green Day

Finally. One application. A couple essays. Several nervous phone calls. That interview where I almost puked but I didn't because I didn't fall on my ass but was actually pretty charming. And now I was finally here. Camp Counselor Eren Yaeger. Now that sounded good.

 

The steps in front of the dining hall radiated the excitement of my fellow counselors. Shoes ground against sand and luggage fell to the ground with a plop and wave of dust as we gathered in the camaraderie of shared memories, exchanging grins and looks that all said the same thing—it was good to be back.

With a deep breath of air infused with sunshine and algae--the smell of Camp, I climbed the final step and pushed through the swinging doors, re-situating my duffel on my back. A line had already formed of kids about my age. Adults. I corrected myself. Adults. Eren, you are an adult. You have children to take under your wing and teach crazy songs to and wake up in the middle of the night for ice cream and tell stories to and, and. God. I couldn’t wait.

“Hey! You!” I glanced up at the voice and was met by freckly shoulders dwarfing their tank top. “Guy with the face!” I lifted a brow at this, gesturing slightly. “Yeah. YOU. COME OVER HERE YOU! GET YOUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING FACE OVER HERE!”

I glanced over my shoulder at the register table where I’m sure our superiors were, but walked over anyways. Maybe if I did what she said she’d stop with the loud swearing in front of the people in charge of us for several months.

“Ummm, not that I don’t like a compliment. My face _is_ …” No one had blown a gasket yet. Might as well roll with it: I wasn’t breaking my swearing habit anytime soon. “a fucking work of art. But I don’t really expect strangers to--”

Big freckled hands shoved me, ones with a ring on the middle finger. A ring with a Y. Wait up. Was it? Could it be? “Strangers? YOU THINK WE’RE FUCKING STRANGERS? Get out. Just go now, no.”

This time I was positive. “YMIR! MY GOD. SO MUCH FOR FUCKING EMAIL. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN???” And I snagged her into a hug, which she gladly returned, crushing my ribs into her broad chest. “Seriously though! You signed up?? I thought it’d just be me and Armin!! Hell yeah! The three amigos!! Together again! Yes!” And thus began the handshake. Courtesy of camp our 5th grade summer, of course. The ritual complete, I shoved her back. “Why didn’t you tell me you’d be here, you freak?”

“Down, Boy. Don’t get your panties in a bunch.”

“Godawful Bitch.”

“Shut up. You love this Godawful Bitch. Besides! We’ve got all the time in the world… Wait, where _is_ Armin, that cheeky bastard?” At this, a bark of laughter leapt from my mouth--Ymir’s terms of endearment never had been all that, well, endearing--but it died in my throat when I heard the call for next. 

An expectant hand and quirked eyebrow met me, property of a counselor just slightly less broad than Ymir herself. She glanced back and forth between us but said nothing, just waiting. Waiting for… _Shit_. Right. I dove into my duffel to fish out the forms and stuffed them into those expectant hands. “I know they’re not quite complete, but I, um…”

“Thanks,” adjusting her glasses, she gave a quick once-over to the form, “’Eren Yaeger,’ yeah this is fine. We’ll be getting these over to the nursing station….and… here… we are!” A broad smile and a new stack of papers were shoved in my face. “You’ll be out in Cabin 12! With, ooh! You’re going to have so much fun.” She said, waggling her thick eyebrows. “You’re out in Huron, up on the hill.”

With a nod and a grin, I moved to leave, but felt the poke of her pen.

“Oh, and Eren? I’d avoid the phrase….” She glanced at Ymir and back to me, “Godawful bitch or, ahem, cheeky bastard unless you want some,” she winked, “ _fucking_ kid parroting you all week.” And cackled at her own ironic joke before clearing her throat. “Anyways, we go PG the instant gates open tomorrow. Got it Counselor?”

I bit my lip sheepishly, scratching the back of my neck, but couldn’t help the burst of joy in the pit of my stomach. “Right! Yes! Sorry…” I glanced at her name tag, “Hange,” You know, old friends and all that.”

She smirked and nodded, a knowing gleam in her eye, “Good seeing you, kid. And good luck!” Her half-suppressed giggle and wave sent me off. With a quick salute, I spun on my heel and started my trek.

 

* * *

 

The doorknob was cool to the touch of my clammy palm. This was it. Huron. Home for the summer, exactly where my map (and memory) had said it’d be. With a sigh and another heave of my duffel, I cracked the door. And promptly gasped. 

 

The map certainly hadn’t indicated this… display.

 

Before me in the throws of some serious visceral passion, were two men. Two men were making out. Two men were humping each other in a bed most likely last inhabited by an eight year old.

“Uh, I…uh” Words had abandoned me. The image did not compute.

One heavy-lidded eye cracked open, lashes lazily floating up as the steel-colored iris bore into me. Still full-force staring at me, he gave one last, lingering kiss to the blonde man beneath him before leaning in with a murmured phrase.

And they were off.

Blondie jumped up, shoving Eyeball Guy off his lap, and promptly bashed his head against the top bunk. I snorted back a startled laugh. “I, um… hi…” He kept his face clear as he rubbed his skull. Eyeball guy just blinked, arms folded. “I, uh, um… Eren. My name. Eren’s my name. Hi.”

 

Silence.

 

“Okay… I uh… I’ll come back… later…. Yes. Good. Later. Later is good…” 

“Wait,” said Blondie. “You’re fine. We were just, um…" He rubbed his eyes. "I’m Erwin,” he offered, instead, with an extended hand. I glanced, checking for any… incriminating evidence, shrugged, and shook.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” He grunted. He jerked his head in a nod to Eyeball Guy. “That’s Levi.” Levi just nodded, unnervingly expressionless.

And that was my cue. “Really though, it’s cool. I can just… go.”

Erwin leapt yet again, banging his head yet again. “Ow. Wait. We were just…. We’re…”

Levi let his words rise like lazy smoke from his lips: “Fuckbuddies.”

I felt my eyes go wide, my ears stain red. “Um, yeah. Great. That’s cool. I just… I have this thing. I’ll…. See you later!” And made for the door. A snicker snuck out from behind me, and I threw a fleeting glance over my shoulder.

 

Levi was still eyeballing me, lips just barely lifted in a smirk--languid and leering.


	2. Welcome to the Black Parade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my best friend helped me edit this one and I'm gonna make her my beta and it's thanks to her that no one is assaulted by my overly-enthusiastic use of simile. You're welcome.
> 
> My tumblr: danceofdebauchery.tumblr.com
> 
> Her tumblr: illadvisedmonkeybusiness.tumblr.com
> 
> Chapter title from My Chemical Romance

The phone picked up with a click. “Armin, please tell me we are on the same continent.” I could hear the swoosh and crackling sounds of his fumbling before he replied, voice muffled from, what I imagined to be, the rather uncomfortable position of phone clutched between cheek and shoulder.

            “Okay then,” he said. “I see it’s no, ‘Hey Armin. How are you? How was your flight? Oh, you—“

            “Armin.”

            “OH, your flight was _delayed?_ Oh, Armin that must be terribly stressful and downright irritating. I feel for—“

            “Armin.”

            “YOU and your suffering so much. Please do let me, even if I am a very inconsiderate friend, comfort you in your time of distress. What, you say?  You’re—”

            “ARMIN.”

            “You’re a complete jerk and you don’t know how I, a saint, ever put up with you? Yes, I would say you are correct.” I growled but then heard the phone come out from the crook of his neck with a sigh. “Yes, Eren, what do you want?”

            I took a deep breath. And then in a rush: “I might have just gotten to my cabin and found my roommate about to jump this other dude and the one guy was staring at me and Blondie, I mean, Erwin, probably thinks I hate him because then I ran away and Levi laughed at me and I was blushing and now I’m sitting huddled on the tire swing out by the lake and I’m a complete freak and I don’t know what to do now.” I dropped my head against the bark of the tree, feeling the ridges brand their shape into my skin. I groaned. “Please tell me you’re coming soon.”

            I could practically hear his eyebrows rise in concern beneath his blonde bangs. “Oh God. That sucks. Yeah, my flight was delayed but I’m finally back. I’m about to transfer.”

            “But _when_ will you get here?”

            “I don’t really know?”

            I groaned again. “Arminnn.”

            “I’m sorry, okay? Flying across the ocean is not a quick process. I’ve got nasty jetlag, and I’m super paranoid my luggage is still somewhere in London. Plus, my flight was delayed, and now I have to deal with your whiny ass?” My eyes widened at that. The swearing was new. “FYI, my day hasn’t exactly been a joy either.”

            In reply, I was silent. It was enough of an apology, I guess.

            He sighed. “My flight leaves in thirty minutes. It’ll be, like, an hour til touchdown after that. Then I need to get my hopefully not lost luggage and drive down, but I should be there in time for dinner.” I heard the _clug-clug, clug-clug,_ of bags rolling across uneven ground. “When is it exactly?”

            I fished around in my pocket for the wad of forms and schedules. They weren’t there. I patted each in turn and looked around the area before glaring back the way I had come. This was just too much. “DAMNIT. I left the fucking papers in the fucking cabin with the fucking men.”

            “WAIT.” Armin giggled. “You actually caught them having sex?! Like sex _sex?_ IN THE CABIN? RIGHT THEN? Please tell me they were at least attractive.”

            “What? No. Yeah? Wait. I don’t know…” I messaged the bridge of my nose. “Fuck. Just. Ugh. Fuck.”

            “Woah. Okay, just calm down. I’ll be there in, like, a couple hours. Take a swim. Go for a walk. Just calm down and work out a strategy.”

            I sniffed, grumbling, “That’s your job.”

            “But I’m not there, am I?”

            The wind breezed through the branches of the nearby willow tree; meanwhile, a duck quacked and fluttered around in the water somewhere in the distance.

            “Listen,” he said. “Just follow my instructions. Take a swim. You’ve missed Lake Rose anyways. Then lay out in the sun… Is that picnic table still there?”

            I glanced around. Sure enough, there it was, next to the willow tree and the sand volleyball court. “Uh, yeah,” I said, nodding.

            “Good. After your swim, lie out there and take a nap. Or plan some activities for the kids for when they get there. It doesn’t matter. Just distance yourself.”

            I nodded. Yes. Strategy was good; Armin always had good plans. I would take a swim and a nap and plan some activities. I would not fret about heavy-lidded looks and voices that slipped and slid like skis down fresh powder. I would not dwell. Or wonder why I was dwelling. And why I was so keyed up. Nope. Not at all.

            “Okay, so… I’m gonna go now. Flying and such. I’ll see you soon…”

            “Hey, Armin?” I stopped him before he could hang up, and said, “Thanks, man. I don’t know what my problem is. Have a good flight. Enjoy the pretzels. Take a nap.”

            This time, I could see _and_ hear his expression—an exhausted smile, curved up just slightly at the corners. “Yeah, you too. Bye.” And he hung up.

* * *

 

Everything was warm and sunny and God. Summer. The lake lapped at the banks as the volleyball net jangled in the breeze. The sun blanketed every inch of me, filling me and laying atop me like a lover, sated and satisfied. The nap had been good--my thoughts settled and organized, my mind at peace.

            Alas, the peace would not last long.

            CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH. “Dang it, ARRRGH.”

            I stretched, running limbs against grainy wood, and turned my head. Before me was Armin, decked out in jeans and a cardigan much too warm for the muggy heat. “Arminnn. Nooo. But my nap was so nice. And the sun was so _warm_.”

            “Erennn.” He stared at me, blinked once, twice, then: “Come _on_. I just got here. I’m hungry. I’m tired. _And_ we’re missing dinner.”

            “No, wait. WHAT?” Nap no more. I jumped off the table and began to throw on my shirt and shoes. “You’re kidding.” How long had I been out?

            “Oh my god. Wait. Wait. Eren. Turn around. Oh my god,” he said.

            “What? No, we’re late. Let’s eat.”

            “No, really. Jut do it.” He grabbed my arm and forcibly turned me around—“Oh. My. God. Eren.”

            I shook him off. “What?” His face was screwed up in I didn’t even know what kind of emotion. “WHAT?” And then the laughter came.

            “Oh. God. Oh my God. Eren. How long have you been on that table?”

            “I don’t know. Like a couple hours, maybe?”

            “Look at yourself.” He grabbed my hand and shoved it in my face.

            It was a bright, almost neon red. He turned it to the side, and behold! My arm was the equivalent of a side-by-side strawberry and vanilla milkshake. “SHIT. ARMIN.” He was doubled over, laughing, my arm still clutched in his hand. I tore it away, trying to rub the white fingerprints off of my sunbaked skin. “Stop laughing, you ass.”

            He was still shaking. He held up a finger, and I sighed, waiting. This was just great.

            “This is just great,” he said between gasps. “Oh my goodness. Day. Made.”

I glared at him, tapping my foot. Then rolled my eyes and grabbed his shaking shoulders. “Come on, Asshole.”

* * *

 

I could feel their eyes on my back as I slopped out various dishes from the line. With Armin in tow, I made a beeline for Ymir, who was, of course, choking on her food as she banged her hand onto the table in laughter. I had to evade several rows of occupied tables before plopping down in front of her, my back to the unlit fireplace and hanging portraits of past camp directors.

            “No words. Or the kids hear about the time with the deer.” I said.

            She paused, hand in midair, sobering up. Then her cheeks puffed up and a bark of laughter burst forth from her red face. Not as red as mine of course, but still.      

            I leaned forward slightly, trying to glance around inconspicuously. “Can you cool it. Just a little? Please?”

            Armin glanced at me, offering a timid smile, before taking a breath and putting a larger grin on his face. He said, “Oh my gosh, Ymir. We haven’t seen each other in how many years and you haven’t even said hi? Just because Eren looks like he’s been boiled alive?”

            I glared at him, but the diversionary tactic had worked. Ymir was already jumping out of her seat to grab him and ruffle his hair. They settled into greetings and stories while I moved my food around on my plate. Down the table were a pair of boys—one dark and lean, the other blonde and broad—who were settled in some sort of silent companionship. The blonde speared the brunette’s broccoli and tossed it in his mouth with a smirk; the brunette shook his head deferentially.

            “Yo, Eren. Lobster boy.” I looked up sharply into Ymir’s gleeful expression. “She’s talking to you,” she jerked her head, directing my gaze to a tall brunette girl holding a tray piled with food while clutching several rolls under her armpit.

            “Um, yes, hi. I was wondering if I could sit here?” She squirmed, trying to gesture without dropping any food, at which she failed as several tater tots popped from the bulging pockets in her shorts.

            I motioned my approval, still watching the pair of boys down the table. Another girl had come to join them, sitting down with neither a glance nor a word. The big blonde slapped a hand on her shoulder—an obvious mistake. Slowly her head swiveled to stare at him, cold and blank. His smile faltered as he let his hand slip from her shoulder, turning back to the brunette with a raised brow.

I fought back a smile, glancing back to my suddenly distraught companions. Mayhem had descended upon our table. An outraged diatribe was exploding from Ymir. The new girl, Sasha, apparently, had no sense of decency, or so I could gather from Ymir’s cry to the lazy ceiling fans:

_The fucking new girl had snagged one of_ her _pats of butter, followed by_ her _French fry_ \-- _who fucking does that?_

Beyond the commotion, I found my eyes wandering to a strangely quiet corner—an anomaly to the dining area.

            Of course it was him—Levi. He was engrossed in some book, head balanced on one fine-boned hand, which was playing with one of the three tiny silver hoops in his ear. The other twirled his fork as he smirked at whatever events that were occurring before his eyes. And of course, it was that smirk that reminded me of when and how I’d seen him last.

 There was no denying it: Levi was certainly a catch. I guess Erwin had good taste, if nothing else. But really, it was more than that, I noticed, as the blonde took a spot next to Levi with not a word uttered, a fact that the heavy-lidded man seemed to appreciate, indicated by the tiny smile he offered in a fleeting glance.

            I tore my eyes away. It was one thing to casually observe the men you had walked in on, another completely to stare and study them. Instead, I returned to the conversation with renewed gusto. Sunburned or not, uncomfortable or not, things were not going to get better unless I at least _tried_ to participate.

* * *

 

“Eren, seriously. Just come in with us. It’ll take like, what, five minutes?” Said Ymir, directing me to the doors of the nursing station, hands placed forcefully on either of my shoulders.

            “You’ll regret it if you don’t! Everyone knows it doesn’t start to really burn until you’ve been out of the sun for several hours,” Armin said, nodding his approval as he opened the door.

            I tugged at his blonde ponytail as I was pushed inside.

            “Hey! No need for the violence!”

            “Nu-uh,” I said. “I get forced into the nursing station; I call the shots.” I folded my arms petulantly.

            Armin rolled his eyes, redoing the elastic as he let the door slam shut behind him. “I know you’re not a big fan of doctors, but come on! It’s a nurse! A nurse who will give you magical cooling concoctions for all your cooling needs. You’re not, like, going through experimental torture. Chill. You’ll be fine. She’ll be great. Everyone will be happy.”

            A bright blonde head popped up behind the counter—just her head: she was too short to see the rest of her body. “Hi!” She beamed, tilting her head to the side. “Did you need something? I was just go—“

            “No, No. We were just leaving,” I said, turning for the door. Unfortunately, Ymir had already taken up residence at the entrance. Staring me down, she clapped a hand on my shoulders— _Owww_ —and spun me back.

            “Actually,” Armin said, shooting a disapproving glance at Ymir. “My friend, here. He’s got this nasty sunburn. Do you maybe have something?”

            “Oh yeah!” She said quickly, eyes widening at my lobster-esque complexion, before disappearing for several seconds. I threw myself onto the bench— _Owww_ , folding my arms and glaring at Ymir, who happened to be completely avoiding my gaze, turned into the bulletin board. “Here it is!” The little one called, waving a bottle of green gel back and forth. “Aloe!”

            I glared at the bottle. Ymir glared at me. Armin glared at Ymir. The little nurse beamed at all of us.

            I grabbed it with a grumbled thank you before sitting back down to smear the stuff all over me. The blonde, Krista, was introducing herself. I wasn’t bothering myself wondering why Ymir seemed to be hiding behind a food safety pamphlet. Even if I knew she didn’t have any food allergies. Nope, I didn’t care. And I definitely wasn’t going to start smiling. Not at all. Even if the gel was soaking into my hot skin—ice on searing asphalt. I was not paying attention at all.

            Until the bell rang on the door.

            “Krista, I really, really need you to check out this thing on m—“ He stopped in his tracks, face immediately going blank, arms falling to his side.

            Krista smiled. Again. “Oh, hi, Levi! This is so great—guys, Levi is a joy. Levi, this is Armin, Ymir, and—“

            “We’ve met,” Levi said, nodding to me. I thought I saw his eyes flash, but it could have just as easily been the tiny barbell in his eyebrow.

            There was an awkward pause where Krista’s grin fell, her brows coming together in a look of confusion before ironing back out. We looked at her. She looked at as, glanced at our new guest, and said, “So, um. Why don’t you guys head out now, and I’ll catch up after I take care of Levi, here.” She turned to him, offering over her shoulder, “Save me a seat up front!”

            I turned to Armin, “For what?”

            “The meeting? Eren, weren’t you listening?”

            “Yeah?” He quirked an eyebrow. “…No, but--”

            “Seriously,” Ymir said, clapping a hand, again— _Owww_ —on my shoulder, “it’s on your schedule. Lose it already, Rudolph?” She waggled her eyebrows.

            I shoved her and shot her a dark look. “No. I just…left it in my cabin,” I mumbled.

            Unfortunately, I was still heard. A snort arose from Levi’s general direction. I glanced back, and of course, there he was, staring. And smirking. Still smirking. “Come on. Let’s go.”

            We shut the door on the conversation behind us— _No. It’s serious this time! Yes. Yeah. See? Infected. You have to believe me. No, really. No! I’m_ not _being a diva. I could really_ —and I promptly thumped Ymir over the head. “What are you doing, huh?”

            She rubbed her head and opened her mouth for whatever projectile word vomit was coming, but Armin spoke first. “Was he?”

            My feet were suddenly very interesting. Great design on those shoes. Just quality really. I wasn’t blushing. Not at all.

            And he giggled. The boy had the audacity to giggle. “Oh my gosh, no wonder you were freaking out. What a cutie! No lie there.”

            I shoved past him. “I never said that.”

            The _thump, thumping_ was of course Ymir, lumbering along behind me. “Ooh! Eren’s gotta cru-ush!”

            “Yeah, this coming from the girl who hid her puppy dog eyes behind a fucking food allergy pamphlet for what? Ten minutes? Did you ever actually _see_ her over the Epipens and Heimlich maneuvers?”

            “Eren.” Armin warned.

Ymir shoved me from behind. And I shoved her back. And so it went, back and forth all the way to the lakefront—The Three Amigos, united at last.

            


	3. A Day in the Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren finishes off his first night at camp. Enter Mikasa, Jean, and Marco.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title in respect to the Beatles song. It's a short one this time--it's been a crazy couple of weeks. Happy reading!

“Are you even paying attention to this shit?”

            I jumped at the voice in my ear—molten silver flowing and curling and sliding. And turned around, glancing to see if anyone had noticed: Armin’s eyes were still glued to Hange’s figure up front; Ymir was trying to act like she wasn’t memorizing Krista’s every pore. No one else in the amphitheater had seemed to notice—Hange’s booming voice and the light slap of water against shore made sure to cover any whispers. “Um, trying to. Do you mind?”

            He arched a brow at that. “Look, brat, it’s the same old skits as ever. Newbies don’t even take part til later in the summer. But,” he said, just _looking_ at me, “you knew that already, didn’t you? You think you know everything about this place.”

            I opened my mouth. Closed it. Opened again. He smirked, and that did it. I said, “Don’t you have something else to do? I don’t know, like fuck my roommate?”

            His face closed up at that, eyes of liquid steel hardening into something sharper, with more facets that gleamed harshly. But then they dropped as he shoved a hand in his pocket, revealing an immaculately folded paper. He opened it and tapped it. “Mandatory. Didn’t you check your schedule?”

            I stared at him.

            “Oh.” He smirked. “That’s right. Left it in the cabin. In a bit of a hurry, I gather?”

            I glared at him.

            “Don’t get ahead of yourself, brat. You don’t know nearly as much as you think you do.” He folded his arms and leaned back into the roots of the tree behind him.

            I turned around to focus on Hange.

 

Or to at least try. His knees were digging into my back, just barely touching but there. Every shift of his weight, every change of position. Oh, I could feel them. And damnit, it was annoying. Of course, _now_ he was leaning forward, so I could feel his warmth just above the collar of my shirt, hear the light sound of his breathing sliding across the back of my neck. Hange’s explanations of the daily schedule faded to the back of my mind. All I could seem to fucking hear was him.

            I looked to Armin and, thank the dear Lord almighty or the flying spaghetti monster or whatever, after several seconds of intense staring, he felt my silent plea for help, turned to me…and promptly gestured back to Hange with a mutter to pay attention: this was important.

            I glared at him and tried to signal that, _um, I’m trying, but do you see this douchebag just trying to mess with my head?_ He shushed me.

            “But I didn’t even say anything,” I whispered. He just turned back to the front. A great friend indeed, leaving me alone with this man’s stupid knobby knees in my back and his breath on my neck, which was now shuddering with a barely audible snort.

            I shook my head and decided enough was enough. He quirked an eyebrow at me as I crawled up my seat to settle on the dusty ground beside him and said, “Can I help you? I’m trying to pay attention to this very important talk.”

            “What’s your deal anyway? What’s your problem?”

            “But you see, my dear bratty little friend,” he said with a smile so condescendingly sweet I probably had cavities via osmosis, “I am not the one who can’t sit still just because a beautiful specimen such as myself sat behind him.”

            “No, I’m fine. You’re just, you’re, you’re…trying to mess with my head, and I didn’t even do anything. I don’t get it.” I folded my arms in a huff.

            “Listen, kid. If you get this upset just because you see a couple of guys making out, you haven’t seen shit yet.”

            “I’m NOT—“

            In front of us, Armin pivoted in his seat, shushing us furiously. “If you two can’t figure this freaking thing out quietly, I… I’ll do it myself!”

            Oh, Armin. He was such a cutie when he got mad. I had to cover my mouth to stop the laughter that was trying to escape, the sight of his large blue eyes and full mouth crumpled in irritation just too much to take. Levi, however, had no such reservations. A snort broke through his unmoving face, and then Hell descended upon that amphitheater. Because he was shaking beside me and Armin’s mouth had dropped into a highly affronted “O” and I was just exhausted from this crazy day, I collapsed into fits of laughter. Armin let out this tiny little squeak of annoyance and that clinched it—Levi and I looked at each other and then we were leaning into each other shaking and laughing but trying to be quiet because Hange would kill us if she heard.

            Wiping tears from my face, I said, “Listen, man. I didn’t mean to freak out or whatever. It was just a bit…. unexpected, you know?” I offered a hand, “We’re okay though?”

He didn’t take it, rather, after giving it a disdainful look, he held my gaze, grey eyes slightly warmer than I’d seen them before. He said, “We’re fine, kid.” And nodded toward the front, where Hange and Erwin now sat at a table off to the side. “Come on, go get your activities assignment and we can call it a night.” He glanced at my hands again, which had fallen in my lap, “Hit the showers and everything. Lord knows you need it.” With another languid smirk, he clapped a hand on my shoulder and nudged me off the ledge.

 

* * *

 

 

“No, seriously. I’m not fucking with you,” I said. “He just looked me straight in the eye and laid one on him.”

            “And so what did you do?”

            “Oh, you know me, Mikasa. I just gave him this look and said—“

            “Eren.”

            “Okay, I freaked out and ran away.” I grabbed my toothbrush from my toiletries and put the phone on speaker. I said through my mouthful of toothpaste, “I mean, really though. Who does that? That’s not just ballsy. That’s like Grade A ‘I don’t give a shit’ behavior. Most people would at least, I don’t know…”

            “But you’re okay now? You and you’re roommate are fine? You don’t need to switch co-counselors or anything, do you? Because I can—“

            “You’re doing it again, Mikasa.” I spit into the sink, leaning in to get a swig of water from the faucet.

            “I know, I know. It’s just…”

            I swished and spit, wiping the back of my hand against my mouth. “You feel responsible for me. No, I get it. It’s just that you don’t need to act like Mom. I’m fine you know. I’ve got Armin here and oh! Did I tell you?”

            “Hmm?”

            “Ymir fucking showed up too! Oh AND you would be so entertained. She’s got this HUGE cru—“

 

Unfortunately, I was not able to finish my sentence due to my suddenly being accosted by a very tall man in a gray towel.

 

            “Awww. Isn’t that cute! Sweetheart over here is talking to his girlfriend.”

            I could hear Mikasa’s sharp intake of breath from the other line. “No, no I’m not—“

            “Oh and she sounds like a babe.” He grabbed the phone from its place on the counter, speaking into it with brows lowered beneath his grayish brown bangs. “Hey, Babydoll.             How you doing?” He glanced at me, “You ever get tired of this sad bastard, you come by sometime and I’ll show you a real good time.” He waggled his eyebrows at me and that was enough. That horsefaced douchebag. What a smarmy shithead.

            “That’s my sister, you asshole! Drop the phone. Drop the conversation. Drop—“ I lunged, my hands grasping for his creepy-ass neck.

            “Woah, woah. Hey there. Woah.” And arms were around my waist, locking me in place. “Jean, do you really have to goad him like that?” I glanced up to glare at my captor, but I was met with a disarmingly sympathetic look.

            Jean folded his arms and pouted at the freckled man behind me. “But Marco… I was only messing around.”

            With a searching look at me, Marco unwrapped his arms and placed me behind him. He then folded his arms, mimicking Jean’s posture. “ _I can show you a real good time, Babydoll_? Hmm? That was just messing around? Sounds more like just plain, creepy douchebaggery.” He shook his head at Jean, eyes set, yet still, in an amiable expression.

            I piped up, trying to see over his shoulder, “Yeah. That was fucked up.”

            Jean gave a quick glance to Marco before a smile slithered across his face, his lips turning up in an expression reminiscent of Dr. Seuss’s Grinch. He said, “I know something, or someone, I could really fuck up,” and made this gesture with his hand and oh my GOD.  SOMEONE WAS ABOUT TO DIE. I was crashing forward, forcing space between Marco and the countertop. My fist connected with his jaw and suddenly he was pulled away—his eyes blazing, his hands grasping for me.

            “Come on, let’s go Jean. This isn’t cool. Plus you’re in a bath towel, and you will always lose in a bath towel.” Marco said as he desperately grappled with the flailing man, who was mumbling some angry nonsense. “Yes. Let’s go. No, don’t. I know, I know. We’ll stop by Krista’s and get her to take a look. Yes, oh, you’re so scary when you make that face.” He smiled and winked at me, mouthing a goodbye and good luck.

I glanced at my hand, a bruise flowering across the knuckles. I definitely needed a shower now.


	4. Another Sunny Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Kid Day! Hell yeah!
> 
> Featuring: Cute children, Ymir being obnoxious, snuggly Armin, devious Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from the song of the same name by Belle & Sebastian.

With a flinch, I threw my arms up in surrender as I felt a large hand clap over my shoulder—this sensation was all too familiar.

            “Woah, there, Eren.”

            “Oh,” I breathed and returned to examining the cereal selections. “Just you Erwin. Hey.” Not a horse-faced asshat seeking revenge. Good. My hand sort of ached still.

            “Hey.” He smiled and passed his palm over his immaculately gelled hair. Of course he would have impeccable hygiene; meanwhile, I can’t even shake people’s hands without showering first. “So about yesterday. I know it was kind of… awkward, to say the least. But,” His brows knitted together in his earnestness. “Are we okay?”

            “No, yeah, completely. We’re totally fine. Don’t worry about it.” I returned the shoulder pat—no way was I going to keep making a bad impression on this guy. He was supposed to be my mentor; I wasn’t about to alienate him just yet.

            “And about Levi. He’s just—“

            “No, no. Levi and I are cool too. As of last night. Completely not a problem at all.” I winced at the nervous redundancy. Okay, maybe every time I saw Erwin, I also saw long, slender fingers curled in his hair and lazy lips across his neck. But still. I was fine; this wasn’t supposed to bother me that much. I don’t know. It was weird.

            “Alright, then. Good. I’ll see you back at the cabin?”

            “Hopefully fully clothed, right?” DAMNIT.

            “Um, yeah…” He looked away. My bowl of Lucky Charms seemed an appropriate place to bury my stupid head. Maybe I would suffocate on the cereal dust. God, why wasn’t my brain connected to my mouth?

            “Yeah, ha. Okay, bye.” I grabbed a banana and a carton of milk and made a run for it, sitting down with the first familiar face I saw, which just so happened to be the freckled face of Marco. He shot his, what I was learning to be, characteristically sympathetic smile at me.

            “Rough morning?” He said.

            I shook my head, swishing the milk around with my spoon. “You have no idea. I’m such a shitty person.”

            “Heh. Agreed.” Of course. Of course, the smarmy bastard was sitting across from me; although, I did get some sense of satisfaction at the sight of the bruise blooming across his cheek.

            I gestured to it accordingly. “Need some ice for that?” Jean’s brows lowered, face falling out of that shit-eating grin. “Ooh, that looks painful.”

            “Asshole.” He said, before tearing off a hunk of flesh from his apple.

            “Shitface.” I said, before stuffing a spoonful of cereal into my mouth.

We settled into a comfortable silence. People were still milling about and drifting in. The sun shone lazily through the windows, settling along the floor like it couldn’t muster the energy to rise any higher. Erwin had settled in a seat next to Hange, who was shoving a paper in his face, which crumpled as she gestured with her seemingly ever-present gusto. At that moment, I noticed Levi drifting across the room to their table, clutching his tea in some weird hand position. He glanced up at me, arching a brow before giving a slight nod. I grinned at this, and he shook his head, rolling his eyes as he took a seat between Erwin and Hange.

            “Oh, you know, him?” Marco gestured to Levi, who was now holding his cup close to his face, eyes closed as he inhaled. “Levi?”

            “Heh,” I smirked. “Kind of. Not really… it’s a funny story, actually.” But then I noticed Jean, whose eyes had narrowed in this scheming look that made my eyes dart and my words stop. “But it was…uh, a sort of ‘you had to be there’ thing, you know?” Jean scowled before knocking back another swig of his orange juice.

            But then I was distracted by the thump of ass on seat. Armin, hair in disarray and glasses askew across his nose, flopped onto the bench seat, holding a protective hand over the lip of his coffee mug, clutched close. “Ungh.” He moaned, snuffling his face into my shoulder before taking a desperate gulp of coffee.

            “How’s that intercontinental travel treating you?” I asked.

            He mumbled something about jet lag, the frozen depths of hell, and the slow torment of his soul. Typical Armin-in-the-morning behavior. He inhaled another mouthful of coffee, his eyes closing in bliss. “Coffeeee.” He huddled closer to me; Armin-in-the-morning behavior did not include respecting boundaries.

            Marco smiled at this, sighing. He shifted a little closer to Jean, shoulders brushing as they returned to their meal. We ate in a comfortable silence with Armin returning to the coffee maker up front a couple times. He ended up folding himself around his cup and falling asleep. I let him, returning to observing Levi.

            A woman with short, strawberry blonde hair had settled beside the trio; her name was Petra, Marco informed me. She was looking at Levi hopefully, but he simply stared ahead, answering in single words occasionally. Erwin and Hange were still engrossed in their array of papers until the doors flew open with a kick. They jumped, thoroughly awakened from their reverie.

            “Kids are coming! Hell yeah! It’s kid day! Shit’s going down tonight!” Ymir stomped inside, offering a high five to anyone in a 2-meter proximity. She was met with astonished stares and raised brows. That was, until Sasha shyly returned it from her place along the breakfast buffet—of course, she had to maneuver around her tray, which was piled high with strips of bacon and waffles. Ymir threw an enthusiastic grin Krista’s way, where she sat a couple tables away between several girls.

            After grabbing some sausage and bacon, Ymir plopped herself down in the seat next to Armin, dropping her tray with a clatter. She slapped the table. “It’s a beautiful day, bitches.”  Armin mumbled something in his sleep. Jean and Marco shared a look out of the corners of their eyes, stock-still, as if they were scared to make any sudden movements. I didn’t blame them. “Come on. Eren. It’s kid day. We should be celebrating.”

            “Ymir,” I said. “It’s eight fucking O’clock. In the fucking morning. In the fucking summer. We have time to celebrate later.” 

            She ignored this, raising her glass of milk. “To getting paid to playing all summer. To Camp. To FUCKING KID DAY!” She shouted.

            I glanced around; luckily, most people were ignoring her. Krista was muffling a giggle, trying to act like she wasn’t paying attention. Hange was grinning and nodding. She poked Levi, who shoved her off, flicking her glasses like an evil child would tap the glass of a fish bowl. He glared at me, as if to say, _Handle your beast, brat_. I felt my cheeks flare up under his cold gaze and sighed, acquiescing to my beast.

            She clinked her glass of milk against my spoon. Then she turned to Jean, who held his orange juice, mid-drink. It was at this moment that she noticed Armin, “Yo, Armin.” He didn’t response. Oh God no. I glanced at Levi, but he wasn’t looking any more, fortunately. “ _Armin_ ,” she sing-songed. “ _Wakey-wakey_. There will be children. And bonfires. And joy. And wow. _So_ not time to sleep today. The kids are coming! The kids are coming.” She shook his shoulder and said, rather loudly and rather close to his ear, “The kids are coming.”

            He groaned, turning his head away, completely displacing his glasses. “Ymir, no. No. Stop.” She kept shaking, now ruffling his hair. He slapped her hand away. “Don’t touch me.” She poked him, right at his temple. Repeatedly. “Erennnn.”

            I tossed my orange at her. “Occupy yourself, freak.” She caught it before it could bean her in the eye.

            She sniffed, “Fine, then. I’m going somewhere people will appreciate this wonderful occasion.”

            “Like hell?” I said.

            She glared at me, shoving my head down. My forehead collided with Armin’s and then we were both groaning while Jean let out a guffaw from around his mouthful of waffle. Ymir turned away, chuckling at her work, and headed to join Krista, Sasha, and the others. Yeah, totally handled, that beast.

 

* * *

 

 

I sighed from my spot on the picnic table, watching the kids come in, rising up the hill like the incoming tide. They all looked ready to tumble: over-packed bags swung from their tiny shoulders, some accompanied by parents close at their heels, others making the trudge on their own.

            Several of our campers had already arrived; they had rolled out sleeping bags across bunks and stuffed shorts and t-shirts into tiny bins within seconds before needing to be occupied. I now had a couple boys coloring around me, just the quiet ones—a blonde boy with glasses and freckles, a Hispanic boy with these long lashes who spoke in mumbled English, a dark-haired boy with a bow tie who had flipped over the coloring page to draw something of his own. The rowdier ones had grabbed a soccer ball and were chasing each other around the cabin, intermixing with stray campers from surrounding cabins. Of our cabin in the group, there was a dark-skinned boy with a retainer, another with a mass of curls atop his head and his brother, the one with the bright green eyes and scabby knees.

            “So…whatcha drawin’, Blake?” I leaned over to try to see the dark-haired boy’s picture. Blues and pinks and yellows littered the page.

            “You can’t see. It’s not done yet.” He said, shielding his apparently unfinished masterpiece with his arms, cutting off access. He narrowed his eyes at me.

            “You can see mine though,” said Caleb, the glasses-clad blonde. “It’s a dinosaur, a Triceratops, I think. But actually, those aren’t real. They’re actually this—“

            “Woah there, kid.” I said, “You’re telling me Land Before Time, my childhood flick of choice, was all a lie?”

            “No, No.” He adjusted his glasses, gesturing with his hands as he spoke. “It’s still a dinosaur but it probably got mixed up with this other dinosaur, a Torosaurus. They think that they just looked at the bones and were wrong. It was this whole deal a couple summers ago when I was six.”

            “You’re blowing my mind here. This can’t be real.”

            “But it _is_ real! It happens all the time. Did you know? Scientists have found…” He continued to speak, but I wasn’t really listening anymore. He didn’t seem to mind, anyway.

            Instead, I was studying the long-lashed boy, Gabriel. He was hunched over his page, coloring intently. His grip on the crayon was relaxed—a good color-er. I’d always snapped the crayons as a kid. With a gentle nudge, trying not to mess up his work, I nodded to his drawing. He looked up, smiling shyly, dimples appearing lightly in his cheeks. He slid it over, revealing a detailed graphic of the Avengers. He hadn’t gotten to Iron Man or the Hulk, but his Captain America was fully colored, and it was meticulously done, not a single scribble outside the lines, and even some layers of different blues. He brought his legs up to kneel on the bench and whisper into my ear, “I made my own blue color. The rest weren’t right.”

            I leaned over to return, “You made the exact right blue—not too shabby. Actually, it’s really good.” He smiled wider at this, dimples deepening. After a little pause I asked, “So who’s your favorite?” His eyes lit up, and he tapped the Captain. “Good choice—brave and loyal.”

            “My favorite’s The Hulk because he’s a scientist,” said Caleb, pulling a coloring sheet from the Marvel Superheroes coloring book. “Although you wouldn’t _actually_ become a green monster from gamma rays. They’re used to fight cancer, you know. How the writers came up with that story is just beyond my apprehension.” He adjusted his glasses and returned to his coloring, pausing over the box before selecting a specific shade of green.

            I hid a smile in my hand. This kid was something else, no doubt. Glancing over my shoulder and down the hill, I stretched. Erwin said he’d be right back—something to do with admin duties; I wondered how much longer he’d be. Just two more kids to go and then we could go do something all together. I contemplated the various activities we could do, watching the boys with the soccer ball. But then there was a tapping.

            “Excuse me. Excuse me.” I turned and was confronted by the looming figure of a woman with these skyscraper shoes and this lipstick and wow. She had it together. “Yes, hello. I’m Mrs. Gallaway, and this is my son, Rodger.” Rodger had a phone in one hand and a book in the other. Rodger did not even look up when I said hello. Rodger just stared. Then Rodger gave a sigh and went inside to sit on his bunk.

            “Rodger seems…fun.” I said, trying to be polite. I had been so excited that we wouldn’t have one of those kids in the cabin. But whatever. Rodger was in for a rude awakening. Rodger was going to have fun or else.

            “Oh, he really is. He just needs some time to warm up. You know, ever since,” and here she whispered, like she was saying something dirty, “ _the divorce_ he’s just been so hesitant in groups. So shy. We’re really hoping you can help bring him out of his shell.” Rodger seemed perfectly fine in his shell with his expensive phone and his lousy attitude.

            “He does know that phones are not allowed when camp activities officially begin, right?”

            “Oh yes! We’ve just found it’s been one of the best ways for him to deal with,” and she whispers again, “ _the divorce_. So he can always talk to one of us.” She continued to try to rationalize her son’s behavior, and I stayed quiet, barely listening to her prattling. Armin had always been the one who could do pleasantries. The best I could do was just stay silent and hope I didn’t say anything without thinking.

            “By the way, you seem a bit young to be taking care of all these young children by yourself. How old are you? Seventeen? Eighteen?” She said, breaking from her soliloquy.

            I frowned. “Nineteen, actually, _Ma’am._ And I’m old enough to see that—“

            A broad palm clapped over my shoulder, and a well-muscled forearm extended into my vision. “Hello, Ma’am.” Erwin took her painted fingers into his large palm, giving her hand a firm shake. “I see you’ve met Eren, my co-counselor. Is there any kind of problem he or I could help you with?” The woman opened her mouth to speak, an indignant expression flashing across her face. But he stopped her: “He’s actually had more time with our campers today, so he could help settle any of your concerns about your son’s social well-being. Much better than I could, really.” I felt his hand tighten on my shoulder, and I glanced up at him. He aimed a perfectly straight, charming smile her direction, but his eyes were icy. He had my back, I guess.

            Her eyebrows came together, creasing her perfectly made-up face. “Um, no, then. We’re fine. I’ll just say goodbye to my little Rodger and be on my way.” She went inside, and Erwin turned to me, raising his brows. I widened my eyes, trying to express how batshit crazy Mommy Dearest had been. He shook his head, before wiping his face free of expression as Mrs. Gallaway returned. “It was nice meeting you.” She said to Erwin, and with a little nod to me, she finally was on her merry way.

            Then Erwin turned to me, explaining, “Alright, I just came back to check on you.” He glanced at his watch. “I’ve left our last camper up with Petra. Just so you know, he’s an attached little thing. Single mom. Wanted to help him make friends, become independent, you know, the works. Just to warn you.” He then stared me down, eyes cold and analytical. “Think you can handle it?”

            I grinned. “Ready for anything,” I said. I could take it. Hell, as long as I wasn’t stuck sitting in some waiting room all summer, I would be up for anything. This summer was mine. I’d be the best damn counselor this kid could ever want or need. Erwin gave a small nod and turned on his heel without another word.

            To pass the time, I grabbed a coloring page and got to work, finding my coloring subpar in comparison to Gabriel’s finished, fully-colored masterpiece. He’d moved on to the other book I brought, Star Wars, and was doing some Obi Wan and Yoda action shot.

            Erwin eventually returned with child in hand. His eyes were huge in comparison to his wan face; they were also a bit puffy and red. Poor kid. Erwin knelt beside him and looked him in his large blue eyes, “Alright, Anthony. This is my friend Eren. He’s my super special partner in crime, which means he’s also going to be around all summer. I promise, he’s really nice and smart and good.” He looked up at me, gaze steady and serious. “Eren, this is Anthony. He’s a bit new to summer camp, but he’s very excited for all the fun we’re going to have.”

            At this, I smiled and joined Erwin in the grass, leaning into Anthony, not so much to make him uncomfortable, but enough that if he didn’t want to speak too loudly, I could still hear him at a whisper. “Hi, Anthony. This is my first time having a cabin of my own, so I guess we’re both a bit new, right?” He blinked at this but said nothing. “Right now, a couple of us were just coloring. We’ve got some Star Wars and Dinosaurs and Avengers coloring books. Do you wanna color a little bit?”

I paused, just waiting, and slowly, Anthony’s head bobbed once, twice, then started to nod. With that, we settled into silence over the coloring page. I colored the reds and yellows; he did the blues and greens and purples. By the end, he’d said a couple words in a quiet voice, and no longer did his eyes widen in alarm every time a question was thrown his way. When Caleb began to describe the way crayons were made—Did we know? 3 billion crayons are made a year, Anthony and Gabriel even exchanged small, snickering smiles. At this, Erwin gave a slight nod of his head, settling further into the paper work as I tried not to scratch my newly healing sunburn.

 

* * *

 

 

The sun was warm on our faces as it glanced off the lake, forcing me to squint through the glare to get an idea of who was already there. Petra sat in quiet conversation with three other men in the far left of the amphitheater. One gestured largely, mouth open wide as his undercut flopped with his vigorous head shaking. Another seemed to be casually sniffing the air. The last simply nodded as he glanced at his watch: the Welcome to Camp bonfire would be starting soon. He gave another nod of his head and said something quietly before glancing up at the commotion centered around the stack of logs and kindling off to the side of the clearing up front. Ymir, with one tiny little girl perched atop her shoulders, was leading the ruckus. She had gathered the other girls in one of her favorite singing and clapping games. A dark skinned girl in pig tails skipped about the inner circumference of the circle and stopped to dance in front of a redheaded girl with glasses, who blushed violently at the attention but mimicked her movements. The others clapped and sang some nonsense song; of course, Ymir was the loudest one, shouting the lyrics with just enough pitch variation to pass for singing.

            I felt a tug of my hand and glanced down. Teeth set in a retainer flashed in front of me as Danny implored, feet dancing with excitement, “Can we go play? Please? Please please please.”

            “Knock yourself out, kid.” His head tilted at that in confusion. I stifled a smirk, clarifying, “Yeah, totally. Go ahead.” With a pump of his fist, he grabbed the shirt of the scabby-kneed boy, Jack, and took off running, jumping into the circle with an exuberant, “LITTLE SALLY WALKER, WALKING DOWN THE STREET…”

            I glanced around. Sammy dragged the toe of his tennis shoe in the dirt, curls flopping over his forehead. Gabriel and Anthony looked over to the circle with curious eyes. They glanced at each other and then, hands joined together like they needed strength to brace the storm, walked toward the cacophony. Rodger was slumped on a ledge, face slack with boredom, while Caleb gave a lecture on the process of photosynthesis. Blake was biting his nails, shoulders pulled in like he hoped no one would see. I twisted my mouth in thought. Eh, it was now or never. This was camp and the kids needed some initiation. “Alright, come on troops. Can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right?”

            Sammy looked up from his toe and the dirt, his brows drawn together. “Isn’t that a girl game?”

            “Nah. It’s a fun game! I mean, come on, your brother seems like he’s having a good time.” Jack was in the middle now, skipping as high as his legs get him. He stopped in front of Ymir and did some jumping, punching dance move. Ymir repeated it, complete with her own sound effects. Jack reared his head back in uproarious laughter.

            I glanced back at Sammy, his face now alit in a hesitant smile, his eyes as big as saucers. Then he called out, “Hey, Jack. I bet I can do it better!” and ran to the group, pushing his brother to the side so he could squeeze in.

            “Blake? Caleb? Rodger? You coming or what?” Blake stopped his nervous chewing. He set his face in resolute determination, smoothed his hair down behind his ears, and marched toward me. Caleb proceeded to stare at the group, eyes flashing as he studying their movements and words, before shrugging to come stand beside me. I glanced at Rodger. He continued to ignore me, face tilted back to stare blankly at the clouds. I hesitated, but Erwin waved me off with a flick of the wrist as he settled on a ledge near the sullen little kid. I led the boys in a jog to the now hugely expanded circle. “Hit me up, Ymir!” I called over the chorus of kids. She shot a devilish grin at me and proceeded to move her body in the most ridiculous pattern I’d seen in quite a long time. With that I descended to her level. Hell, I was playing Little Sally Walker; my dignity was not a thing.

 

“Shit,” came the quiet curse from behind me. I glanced back, hoping Anthony hadn’t heard. He sat clutching my hand as he raptly watched the skit playing up front. Erwin was staring at his phone. He met my eyes briefly before mumbling into his Walkie-Talkie that yes, he’d be there. Just give him a couple minutes. He waved a hand at Hange, who sat diagonally across from us, and jabbed a thumb in the direction of our gaggle of boys. She nodded and gave a little salute, grinning when he rolled his eyes.

            He motioned for me to follow him along the path out of the amphitheater, along the way snagging Levi by the sleeve of his black t-shirt. Levi shoved him away, brushing off the fabric and glaring at Erwin’s offending hand.

            Erwin said, “So I’ve got this thing to attend to with the kitchens. Apparently Krista’s held up at the nurse’s office. Some kid’s got an allergic reaction or something. Which normally would not be the best but would be fine except”

            Levi frowned more deeply than usual. “She’s fucking in it.” Levi finished.

            I scratched the back of my neck. “Man, that sucks. Is the kid okay?”

            Erwin brushed the comment aside: “Yeah, yeah. She’s fine. Just needed an EpiPen and some time to recover. But Krista can’t be in the skit.” He turned to me, “Think you can fill in?”

            I raised my brows, about to answer before being cut off by a snort of laughter. Levi cleared his throat and rolled his lips together in an attempt to iron out the smile. I said, giving Levi a searching look, “Um… sure?” Levi avoided my gaze, eyes crinkling at the corners.

            “Great. Levi, tell the kid what he needs to know. I’m off to the kitchens.”

 

From our left came the surprised laughter of a couple hundred kids as I stumbled down the trail just out of sight. My hand grazed the bark of the bordering tree and a hiss rose up behind me. “Watch what you’re doing. That thing’s covered in sap.” I tried to wipe my hand nonchalantly against my shorts. “Tch.”

            “Seriously, why did we have to come down here?” I asked.

            “Shush, brat.”

            I frowned but followed, not saying anything else.

            We finally came to the lake and walked out along the dock. It rocked back and forth as I shoved my sticky hands in my pockets. Levi was watching them intently, almost subconsciously rubbing his palms together as if they were clasped beneath a faucet. “Okay, so, what do I have to do I said?”

            He considered the surface of the lake—his gray-blue eyes mirrored the surface—and a smirk drifted across his face before he turned back to me, erasing the smile and returning to his neutral expression. “Okay, so there are three other counselors before you come in. Two guys and then myself. I’m going to be shoved forward in front of Hange, who’s the counselor in this situation. She’s going to ask me who I am and I’ll tell her my name and then I’m going to say, ‘I don’t see why I’m here. I didn’t do anything.’ And Hange’s going to say, ‘Come on, Levi. Your other friends admitted it. If you’re honest, you’ll have lesser consequences. Own up to what you did.’ And I’ll say, ‘I don’t see why it was so wrong. I was just throwing Pebbles in the lake.’ And then you—“ he turned to me, eyes crinkling. “You’ll come in and—“ Then he was suddenly grabbing my arm. His eyes crinkled further as a devious smile fought its way to the surface of his face, and he twisted my arm behind me, throwing me off balance.

            “Hey! What? You—“ He braced his hands between my shoulders and shoved me off the dock. “What,” I spit water from my mouth, coughing, and tried to raise my voice, “the fuck? Why the hell?”

            Levi folded his hands in front of himself and that familiar smirk spread across his face. He cocked a brow and said, “You’re Pebbles.”

            “Uh, what? No, you just…” Wait. _He was just throwing… Oh._ “Fuck you.”

            Levi turned around and headed back the direction we’d come, calling out over his shoulder, “Skit starts in five minutes or so. Don’t forget your cue.” He raised his hand in farewell without turning, not stopping to make sure I’d get out and follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't know it, [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ktfm3WjpqhQ) is the game Ymir was playing with the kids. 
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos and subscriptions! It means a lot! 
> 
> Sorry about skipping a week--hectic days and what not. Thanks goes out to my beta whom I pestered about reading this immediately. She's babe.


	5. Reminds Me of Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](http://danceofdebauchery.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> [My Beta's Tumblr](http://illadvisedmonkeybusiness.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> Title from American Music by Violent Femmes
> 
> This chapter was so hard to write. So much fluff but some necessary plot set up and pacing so... enjoy!

            “Woah there, kid. That’s hot. Why don’t I?”

I went to grab the pasta, but Blake pulled the container closer, propping it up against his small frame as he continued to struggle across the hard wood floor. “No! I have it! The lady gave it to me, so it’s my job.” I shrugged at this but made sure to keep a free hand around the large bowl of salad I was carrying. He managed his job though, bringing the entrée to the table much to the satisfaction of his fellow cabin-mates.

I dropped the salad onto the table and settled down to eat, spooning myself some pasta and grabbing an apple from the bowl of fruit in the center of the table. Then I went to grab the milk and stopped. Alas, the pink cap—skim. “Ugh. We got the worst one. Who even likes skim?”

Jack piped up, throwing his arms into the air, “I know! It’s all watery and gross and not milk. It’s water milk! So weird.”

Sammy looked up and added, “Yeah, it’s gross.”

Caleb adjusted his glasses, tapping his fork against his plate, “Although 2 percent or whole milk drunk in excess is fattening. Scientists have found—“

“Dude. Stop. The milk’s gross,” Danny cut him off. To him, Rodger mouthed a silent “thank you.”

I scanned the room for blue-capped milk jugs, and there it was, the coveted 2 percent. And on who’s table? Who else’s? Entitled asshole Kirschstein. There he was with his senior camp counselor, the one who was sniffing all the food. This would be too easy: they were clueless. I grinned. “You know what, guys? We don’t have to stand for this injustice! We can break free! Make our own destinies! Drink the milk we wish to drink!”

Danny drummed the tabletop, and the rest of the boys took it up. “No more skim! No more skim!” They cheered. I shushed them and mimicked zipping my lips closed and locking them with a key.

I then tiptoed across the cafeteria, and, with a glance to my cabin, who waved their arms silently in solidarity, nabbed the jug from Jean’s cabin’s table and made a run for it. Passing Levi, I spared a shrug and a grin at his raised brow. “Let us drink milk! Behold the 2 percent!” I called out, passing the jug around. Even Rodger offered me a small smile as he downed a glass. Sammy pointed and laughed at the sloppy milk mustache taking up residence on Jack’s upper lip. Anthony just sipped his milk in small mouthfuls, drawing circles on the tabletop with a fingertip.

Peace and quality dairy products restored to my kingdom, I returned to my seat and opened up my schedule to check for the fifteenth time today where and when I needed to be.

We had skipped our first morning adventure in order to get the kids tested for swimming levels, seeing who would be required to be added to the Beginner’s Swimming activity and who needed a lifejacket and whatnot. 1st Activities had also been skipped because the paperwork for activity sign-ups hadn’t gone through yet, despite Erwin and Hange’s best efforts, so what else had resulted but a giant game of freeze tag up on top of the hill, counselors included. My upcoming break was highly needed.

Everyone who wouldn’t be guards during the free swim were in charge of the kids, meaning Erwin probably was trekking back up the hill, readying himself for a rematch—Cops and Robbers this time, of course. I hadn’t missed the bemused look on Levi’s face as he’d been dragged out by a child half his already quite small size. He had raised a brow at Erwin before stepping into the mid-afternoon heat, only returning to face forward when their eyes met and chests rose in shared, acquiescent sighs.

            

            I rubbed the base of my palms into my eyes with a groan. I really needed to stop watching those two—watching him really. I mean, they made a great couple and all, but God. It was just… I don’t know. Distracting. Ymir dropped onto the couch in the game room in which we’d gathered, tossing a careless arm over my shoulders. “Come on, Eren. Don’t end up like party-pooper Marco over there.” She jerked a thumb to Marco’s form, scrunched beneath a gray afghan on a nearby couch, fast asleep with an arm thrown over his eyes, the muscles between his brows visibly tensed and wrinkling despite his obvious catatonic state.

“Fuck off, Ymir.”

“Oh, I’m hurt. Really.” She widened her eyes and pulled her arm from me. Then she let out a laugh and walked off to join the game of pool Jean and Connie were trying to throw together.

Closing my eyes, I slumped into the couch, if nothing else then to rest my eyes. The night had not been kind to me. One of the kids, I thought it might have been Anthony, had been tossing and turning all night, whimpering in his sleep, so I’d stayed up too, distracted. I bet at home he would have been sleeping in his mom’s bed, and she would have held him closer. Maybe she would have gotten him a glass of water when he jumped awake. At least, that’s what I remembered my mom had done way back when. She would offer the glass to me and then pull the covers closer around us; turning her green-blue eyes on me, she’d hum softly, and I’d drift back to sleep. Poor kid. Sighing, I succumbed to the pull of my heavy lids, joining Marco in his attempt to get some rest.

 

 

            Hands shook me, their light touch lifting me from heavy slumber. “Eren, wake up. Eren, we’ve gotta go. Wake up…” I blinked open my eyes to meet Marco’s concerned face. One hand tugged his gray afghan closer around him while the other rested on my shoulder.

Mumbling, I shook him off as I sat up: “Mm up. Les go. Where we goin?” I yawned and stretched.

Marco’s lip quirked up by its corner. He cast aside his blanket and headed for the doors. “Boat docks. I’ve got a boat to man. You’ve got kids to teach. The waterskiing awaits.”

I grinned at the reminder. Right. Waterskiing. “Right behind you.” With a final shake of my head, I heaved myself from the couch.

 

            “Uh, Marco?? What the hell are you wearing?” I asked, eyes wide as I examined his outfit.

He glanced down. “Just… clothes?” He fingered each item in turn, “Swimming trunks, long sleeved t-shirt, lifejacket, hat, sunglasses, towel, watershoes?”

I lifted a brow. “Isn’t that, I don’t know, a bit… excessive?”

He shrugged, saying, “I just don’t want to get sunburnt my first day.” I smiled at this, and we lapsed into silence, preparing the boat for the nine or so campers coming our way soon. Then Marco spoke up again, “Oh, and I’ve got sunblock if you want any.”

“Of course you do,” I laughed but accepted the bottle anyway. The guy had a point.

 

            And… she was up. Sure, her legs were spread a bit wide in the water skis and her arms were a bit too stiff holding the handle, but no matter, she was up, riding along behind the boat with a determinedly clenched jaw and squint of her eyes. “Callie’s good. She’s up.”

A chorus of cheers rose up from the other campers. Marco glanced over his shoulder from his position at the wheel, a smile flashing across his face at the sight of the little girl. I kept my position as spotter, watching her intently for any signs of distress before letting up a little bit. She was going to be fine. Marco tossed me my towel, which was hung over the back of his chair, with a call of, “Eren, heads up!” I pulled it from the air before the wind and motion could take it. He said, “You’ve gotta be cold, being all wet and with the wind and all.”

“Nah, man,” I said. “Feels good in this heat. You though, with all those layers… you can take the next one into the water, have a dip, cool down.”

He bit his lip and shook his head. “No, no. I’m fine.”

“You sure? Seems like—“

Another girl grabbed my hand and pointed my attention back to the water. Callie was losing her balance, legs spreading in her skis before… “Ooh. Ah. Yeah, she’s down, Marco! Take her around!” Marco gave me a thumbs-up as a he circled the boat, and I signaled to the kid, waiting for her raised hand, showing that she was indeed okay.

After pulling her into the boat, a couple more kids gave it a go before we headed back to shore, all the little water-skiers properly drenched, a bit bruised, and wearing exhilarated, exhausted smiles on their faces. A job well done, I’d say. After they’d all hung up their lifejackets and thrown on some sandals, Marco shooed me out of the boat, and I led the kids back to the amphitheater to meet with their respective cabins.

 

 

            “You’ve taken them to the dark side. Oh god. Oh no,” I said, glaring at Ymir. “You will pay for each and every red wagon. Each and every shriek. You will pay, my friend.”

Thanks to Ymir, who was in charge of the hiking activity, Danny and Jack, the dynamic duo, had learned several new songs to pass the hike with, including the dreaded Little Red Wagon song. “YOU can’t ride in my little red wagon!” called Danny gleefully. Jack returned, in a similar fashion, “YOU can’t ride in my little red wagon!”

She simply winked at me as we watched them. “Just doin’ my job. Besides, Eren, I thought you were all for the camp songs.”

“Anything else. _Anything else_.” She hid a laugh in her palm. “You _know_ I hate that song.”

She just threw this shit-eating grin at me and joined the boys, shouting at me now, “Third verse, same as the first! A whole lot louder and a whole lot worse!” I felt my eyes grow wider, my teeth set in place as I tried to control the exasperation bubbling up inside of me.

Erwin was a beautiful human being though. Upon seeing the two boys, who were now jumping up and down as they simultaneously made the motions and yelled the lyrics, as well the cowed expression on Anthony’s face and Gabriel clamping his hands over his ears, he stepped in. “OKAY!” The boys stopped immediately: this guy was a master. “Let’s get on back to the cabin to change for group swim, and why don’t I teach you guys a new song?” Gabriel let his hands drift back down to his sides with a sigh of relief meanwhile Anthony gazed up at Erwin like he was his own personal messiah.

Danny folded his arms and cocked his head, “But we like _this_ song.” Rodger mumbled something under his breath at this, shaking his head.

Erwin ruffled Rodger’s hair before continuing, “Trust me. It’s just as fun, but I think everyone will like it.” With that, he led the kids away, leaving myself and the rest of those on lifeguard duty to get ready.

 

 

            Needing water and sustenance, I headed to the deck out back of the cafeteria where the snack booth was set up. I stopped in my tracks at the sight before me. “Sasha, who left you in charge?” She glanced up from the candy bar she had been shoving down her gullet. “I really don’t think that was quite wise.”

“Hai nah?” She asked around a mouthful of nougat.

I gestured to her stuffed cheeks. “Um, perhaps the fact that the kids haven’t even shown up yet. As in you’ve been in the booth for like what, 5 minutes? And that’s your…” I counted the wrappers strewn about in front of her, “ _fifth_ candy bar.”

She swallowed, crumpled up the wrapper in her fist, and promptly threw it at me, hitting me squarely in the right eyeball. “Fuck off. It’ll be fine. I’m just hungry.”

I tossed the wrapper back at her, which she sidestepped, and turned away, sighing. Yup, definitely a bad idea.

 

            I returned to my post on the dock, water bottle and towel and in hand to find that my partner for my station had shown up, and who else could it have been but Levi. Levi… in a position of vulnerability… near the water… Comeuppance was within my grasp. But then, without taking his eyes off the book he held in one hand, Levi said, “If you so much as look at the water and think of getting some sort of revenge on me for last night, you will live to regret not just that choice but every breath that you ever take again.”

I stopped at that. There was something in his tone where for a second I believed every word he said. I shook my head at that thought though and snorted. “Aye, aye, Captain.” He shook his head before letting us lapse into silence. I uncapped my water and took a swig, dipping a toe in the water. Just a bit cool, definitely warmer than yesterday. I glanced at him.

I mean, what could he really do to me? He was slim under the dark tank top he’d thrown over his red lifeguarding swim trunks, still muscled but lean and fine boned. His skin was pale, veins visible underneath. I decided that the only way he had been able to toss me in last night was because I’d been thrown off guard. Yes. That was it.

Then his eyes met mine, and I felt myself blush. “Hey, shit for brains.” He just kept staring, his expression as stony as always. Then he sighed, “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Not that I could think of… I patted my head. Sunglasses-check. Patted my neck. Whistle-check. My pockets. Free of cellphone and other electronic devices-check. What could I possibly… “SHIT. My tube! Fuck. Okay. God. Shit. I’ll be right back. I just left it…” Shit, where did I leave it? God, Eren. You’re so stupid. It wasn’t… yeah no. But then I… _the boat._ I’d left it on the shores! Right next to the lifejacket rack.

I took off, my ears ringing with Levi’s admonishment to hurry my ass up; he definitely wasn’t the one getting in the water today.

 

            Jesus, I needed to get in shape. My lungs were screaming several expletives at me, I could tell, because I could no longer walk straight. “Fuck,” I mumbled between gusts of breath. My lungs kept up their commands: Just breathe, Eren. In. Out. In. Out. Yes. Oxygen. We like that.

At least I’d found the rescue tube right where I thought I’d left it. Collecting one more beautiful breathe of air, I grabbed the tube and pivoted to make my way back to the swimming area.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

What? I _so_ didn’t have time for this. I huffed, “I just—“

“Were you even thinking? I just… Marco, what the hell?”

Wait, he wasn’t… Oh. Marco was answering: “Look, Jean, you don’t understand. I’m being really careful, I promise. I’m—“

 Jean cut him off, saying, “No, _you_ don’t understand. When you said you were coming for the summer, I thought you’d be in charge of I don’t know… archery in the middle of the woods, arts and crafts, board games, for fuck’s sake! But waterskiing? Horseback riding? Seriously? Do you know how dangerous that could be for—“

“Jean, this isn’t _your_ life. I know what I’m doing. Would you just back off? Hmm? I’ve got it handled. I’m fine. I’m a grown fucking adult. Don’t do this.”

Silence. Maybe I should… There was some rustling.

 Marco spoke again, “See? I’m fine.”

“Marco…”

“Look!”

Jean sighed.

“You know exactly what would be there if I wasn’t fine.”

He murmured, “I know. I see. It’s just… you’re doing everything you can? You’re handling this?”

More rustling and then I heard a muffled sigh that sounded like it came from Marco.

Jean again: “I just… I worry, you know?”

Marco: “Yeah. You gotta trust me though. I know my limits. I know what I have to do. Besides that, I just need you to trust me. Okay?”

“Okay. Yeah.” A pause, and then hesitantly, “You know I—“

“Yeah. I know, I know,” Marco said softly.

I took that as my cue to tiptoe away.

 

            “What the f—“ Levi cut himself off, glancing at the kids swimming next to him, before continuing, “What took you so long?”

I brushed my hair out my eyes. “Nothing, nothing. But look!” I gestured with my rescue tube, “I found it!”

“Yeah, I see. Good for you, brat. But not so good for me.” He gestured to himself, floating shirtless on his own rescue tube. “You’re in the water the rest of the week, got it?”

I smiled. “Fine by me. You know, I could still—“

“I’m in now. I’m not getting out and baking out in the sun covered in this fish sh—“ He cut himself off again and growled, “You know what I mean.”

Again, I found myself grinning as I took a seat on the edge of the dock, dipping my feet in the water.

“Eren! Eren! Eren!” I glanced up. And who else but Caleb, decked out in life jacket, water wings, and goggles. His sunscreen wasn’t completely rubbed in and still lay white and shiny on his damp skin. “Guess what?”

“What?”

He settled next to me, slick swim trunks sliding against mine in a way that wasn’t exactly pleasant. Levi eyed him with this tiny, barely detectable wrinkle in his nose. He’d taken out the piercings in his brow and ears. For what reason, I didn’t know. Caleb continued, “So after lunch I got to go on this super cool hike—the science discovery one?” I nodded. “And my counselor, he said he was your best friend!”

“Blonde with the ponytail? Armin?”

“Yeah, him! YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU KNEW A REAL LIFE SCIENTIST!” He grabbed me and squeezed.

“Well, I don’t know if I’d call him that.”

“But he worked with NAREC. NAREC!”

“What?” This kid was intense, man. Wow. His goggles seemed to be the only things keeping his eyes from popping out of his sockets.

“Narec! National Renewable Energy Centre? Only one of the most important research centers in the entire United Kingdom? How could you not know that?”

Levi snorted from his place in the water. I threw a glare his way. “I mean, I know where he interned this past semester but I don’t see what the big deal i—“

“And you!” Caleb pointed to Levi, flinging several droplets of water at his face in the process. Levi stared at him, raising a single hand and wiping his brow. “You know Hange!”

“And sometimes I really wish I didn’t,” he deadpanned, eyeing the kid’s hands like they were suspect of transmitting the black plague and all other sorts of diseases.

“How could you _say_ that? She knows everything. Everything!”

“I wouldn’t go that far, kid.”

“When I grow up, I’m gonna be just like her and Armin. Except my best friend will probably be more like Eren because you’re really grouchy and by the way you’ve been looking at my hands, you seem to have a hard time dealing with dirt or germs. You know, that could be a sign of a lot of things, actually. To begin with, it could be Mysophobia or colonially germo—“

Levi glared at him. “I think you mean colloquially, brat.” Levi glared at me.

“Hey, Caleb,” I said, grabbing his hand and flashing a guilty look to Levi. “Have you tried that cool water toy that Connie’s got going over there? I bet you haven’t because the line was really long, but look! It’s pretty short now.” I stood, hauling him up with me. “Why don’t you go try it out a bit. I promise you can tell me all about how it works at dinner, okay?” And pushed him toward Connie before plopping back down with a sigh.

“One of yours, I assume?” Levi asked. I nodded. “How charming.”

I frowned. Sure, Caleb was a bit of a know-it-all, but he was one of _my_ kids. He was _my_ know-it-all. “Hey, he’s not so bad. He can actually be pretty cute.”

Levi stopped all motion, all kicking and beating the water. And that was it. His hand caught my ankle, and he pulled me in and shoved me under. I came up coughing. “Serves you right. Cute, my ass.”

“Well, your ass is pretty cute.” Shit. Why did I say anything? Ever?

His eyes widened for a second before settling into his heavy-lidded stare and pronouncing quite clearly: “Dickhead.” I could feel myself blushing and then I was being shoved back under the water. Yeah. That one I deserved.

 

 

            The rest of the day passed just a bit more smoothly. I led the kids in icebreakers and team building exercises during the time for our cabin activity after group swim. Erwin didn’t show up. Some had been hesitant. Some had been bossy. Some had bad attitudes. But eventually, enough of those had been put aside to the point that they all seemed just a bit more comfortable with one another.

 

 

            After meeting on the steps and singing a couple songs, we settled down for dinner. It was a good ten minutes in before Blake piped up from his place near Rodger: “Wait. Where’s the milk?”

I glanced up and down the table. “It’s gone!” Sammy whined, and he was right. There sat a container of milk, but rather than blue, the evil pink cap was back.

Blake groaned, dropping his head into his arms, “Not the 2 percent!”

Jack and Danny were standing on top of their seats, hands raised over their eyes in search of the milk thief. Simultaneously they pointed and yelped, “Over there! He’s over there!” There I spied this red-headed kid with glass, tall and thin as a beanpole, tiptoeing across the cafeteria, the conspicuous shape of his shirt revealing the milk carton hidden beneath the cotton fabric. Jack’s face flushed red as Danny’s hands balled into fists. “We gotta get him! We gotta—“

I felt my eyes widen and broke in. “Woah, woah there guys. We’ll get it back. We’ve got weeks and weeks but we’ve gotta be stealthy about it. Avoid confrontation. Like spies or ninjas.”

“Did you know that ninjas—“

“Yeah, we _know_ , Caleb. Shhh,” The two boys huffed as they slumped back into their seats. Blake was eyeing me but dropped his head to his plate when he noticed my gaze. I sighed and turned to Caleb, asking him to elaborate, and that he did. Throughout all sixty minutes of dinner. Every single one.

 

 

            Following the 2 percent-less meal, we counselors dispersed to begin setting up for evening activities. I snagged Armin out the door, dragging him away from his conversation with Hange, his co-counselor. “Come on, man. I wanna set up some of the kayaks before I they come our way.” With that, we hurried to the boat docks and were able to unload several kayaks before the kids came in. Blake was actually part of the group, and I was met by a hesitant smile.

We began our spiel with Armin narrating as I demonstrated and were met with yawns and wandering eyes. “So if you want to turn, you just have to swivel your—“ Armin stopped, glancing about the group before sighing. “Wait. How many of you already know how to kayak?” Every single hand rose up, as did Armin’s brows beneath his bangs. He grabbed the end of his ponytail and pulled the tail up above the crown of head. “Huh, okay, wow. So why don’t we ah…”

“Get going?” I cut in. “We can just do a simple turn about the edge of the lake to stay away from any heavy winds out in the middle. Would anyone feel more comfortable with Armin or I sharing a kayak with you?” Not a single hand rose up. I looked at Armin and he shrugged, eyes wide. “Okay then. Let’s just grab our kayaks and go then. Help out anyone struggling to get theirs in the water. Everyone needs to get their lifejacket checked before even going near one of these things. And be careful getting in—it can be wobbly, especially if you haven’t gone out in a while.”

 

            The sun was starting to warm the horizon in oranges and pinks as we rounded the bend in our kayaks, floating along the shore as we dipped up and over on each gentle wave. Armin and I paddled from the back, making sure no one fell behind or strayed too far. Blake had a tendency to paddle out to the middle and into the wind. Another girl, Gwen, tended to get distracted by various things along the shore before paddling madly to stay in the middle of the pack. “So…Levi, huh?” He said, waggling his brows and grinning

I felt my face flush. “No, no. It’s not. Levi is around, yes, but it’s not—“ Armin raised a brow. I tried again, “He has a boyfriend. And they’re happy. I mean, haven’t you seen them together? Haven’t you seen him?”

Suddenly this light came into his eyes. He started to whistle, letting his kayak drift a bit away. “Oh, I’ve seen them alright.” Lips pinched together as he held back a smile, he glanced at me, holding my eyes before looking out to the setting sun again, whistling.

Shit. He totally knew something. “Armin.” More whistling. “Oh, come on, Armin. You know something. I know you know something. You have that look on your face.”

He widened his eyes at me. “What look?”

“You know, the I-have-juicy-gossip-but-I’m-gonna-torture-Eren-with-suspense-first-before-I-tell-him-look. That look.”

Armin lifted a hand to his mouth, shouting, “Blake! Come back here! Do I have to remind you again?”

“Armin.”

He finally cracked on that one, a grin spreading and dripping across his face like syrup on the pancakes at breakfast. “So I might know something.” I stopped paddling. “But, you can’t tell.” I stared at him. “There’s trouble in paradise.”

“Woah. Wait. What? No. Go on.”

“So you know how I was on the swim station? Erwin was supposed to be on break, right? But, see, he came by the docks first.”

“Uh huh?”

“And so he came over to Levi and they kissed and whatever. And then he said something to him—I don’t know what. He was sort of teasing Levi, and Levi like didn’t even say anything or react.”

“That’s not exactly out of the ordinary, Armin. Have you seen that man’s facial expressions? They come in a set of 3—bored, more bored, and bored to death.”

“No, no. Because, see, they kept talking and when Erwin went to leave and tried to kiss him goodbye, Levi avoided him. Turned his cheek. Stopped the kiss. Aborted the mission.” Hmph. Weird. “And then Erwin walked away, and you came up, and he grabbed that book and opened it to a random page like he had been in the middle of reading it.”

“Maybe he was.”

“Sure, Eren. That’s why he acted like nothing had just happened five seconds ago.”

“I mean, it’s definitely weird but…”

Armin just gave me this smirk and paddled away, calling out that the hour was almost up. Time to get back to shore. I groaned in frustration. Armin obviously thought this was a big deal. But I mean, he couldn’t possibly be watching them as much I had been. Levi was different around Erwin. Comfortable and even warm. One lover’s spat didn’t change that. Besides, Levi was obviously a pretty private person; it was totally reasonable for him to act like nothing had happened. That was it. Of course.

 

 

            When we arrived on the steps of the dining hall for the evening gathering and Camp Activity, Erwin was nowhere in sight. Probably doing some sort of administration work. Not avoiding anyone, I told myself, before moving on. I gathered our cabin around me before we initiated the game—ninja, and it was serious. Soon enough, three other cabins had joined us in underhanded combat, with it coming down to the final three—Gabriel, the dark horse; Jacob, a chubbier child from Levi’s cabin with eyes like a hawk; and Armin, of course, the master strategist.

The game was cut short by the calls for camp songs, and before descending into a chorus of “boom chica”s, Jacob stalked right up to Gabriel, and with a threatening step forward and a jerk of two fingers, he whispered, “I’m watching you, shortie. This isn’t over.” At this, I readied myself to intervene and protect Gabriel, but Armin threw a careful shake of the head my way. Wait, it meant. And so I did, and to my amazement, Gabriel took a step forward, came up on his tiptoes, shoved a finger in the kid’s chest and said, “You’re going down… big guy.” They stared at each other further, and I sent an alarmed glance Armin’s way. This was not good. At least, I had thought so until they descended into laughter, Jacob shoving Gabriel to the side as Gabriel ducked out of his attempted noogie.

 

            Eventually, the songs came to a close and Hange directed us out to the main green where she announced the evening’s Camp Activity—Dodgeball. Heron erupted into cheers, and when Hange stepped back from the podium to prepare for the game, I gathered the kids around me. “Alright, guys. Here’s our moment. Revenge of the 2 percent. We play as a team tonight. The goal? Take out Counselor Jean. The one with the funny colored hair and the horse face.” Danny and Jack exchanged high fives as a tiny giggle burst forth from Gabriel. He glanced to Anthony, who offered him a tiny smile in response. After debating strategy for several minutes, I called out, “Alright. Hands in! Heron on three.” ‘One, two, three, HERON!’ came the chorus of boys around me, fueled by chocolate cake and the sweet taste of vengeance. We descended upon the field, our single goal in mind.

 

            And were thoroughly walloped until the third and final jail break. Now or never. We held back from the lines this time, dodging all balls, not even trying to catch them. Our hand-eye coordination was not fully developed yet, apparently. But finally, finally, it was just us, and it was just Jean and his cabin because of course the bully and the cabin of bullies is fucking amazing at _the_ game for bullies. Together we played, gathering balls and lobbing them all at once toward each newly appointed target. Slowly the other side was diminishing until it was just one lone horse—man, excuse me—and his rubber ball.

“You ready, guys?” I called out. They waved their armed hands and whooped with joy. So like wolves upon our prey, we surrounded the horse, lining the boundary. “On three, alright? One…” His eyes widened. “Two…” His knuckles grew white around his own clutched weapon. “thr—“

From Blake: “This is for the 2 percent!” The boys yodeled and yelled as they all threw in tandem, but it was Blake’s ball that throttled straight for the target, hitting Jean straight in the stomach as the barrage of balls came from all sides.

And… “Bullseye. Out for the count, Kirchstein,” I said, smirking into his narrowed eyes.

Blake stood in the center the cheering then, staring at his hands. “I got him,” he mouthed, just staring. Then, “I got him!” He yelled, bending back to shout his triumph to the sky. The boys surrounded him then, repeating his name again and again.

I ran to the center and hauled the kid into my arms, settling him on my shoulders. “That’s my man! First drink of that jug’s all you, kid.” We then had to settle down for our closing day ceremony, but soon enough, Blake was back on my shoulders as we hiked back to the hill, spouting “We are the champions” at the top of our lungs.

 

 

            Eventually, Erwin did show up, right after the boys had finished showers and were jumping into bed. He asked them of their day and a couple delved into little anecdotes from their various activities. Blake gave a rousing account of the 2 percent battle, at which Erwin suppressed a chuckle before arching an eyebrow to me. I shrugged. Kids loved competition, and he had to admit it, skim milk, especially the camp’s special brand of craptastic skim milk, was fucking awful. Plus, I mean, it was certainly a bonding experience, more so than any of the stupid team-building games we’d played earlier that afternoon.

When 10:30 rolled around, Erwin announced it was time for lights out. He was met with a chorus of dissent. Gabriel popped his head out above the railing of his bunk above Anthony’s bed. “Counselor Eren could tell us a story first.”

“No, no. It’s lights out,” Erwin said, reaching for the light switch.

“Maybe tomorrow though,” I added from my place next to him. “I need time to think of one first.”

“Okay, tomorrow,” said Gabriel.

“Yeah, tomorrow,” said Daniel.

“You’ve gotta promise though,” said Sammy.

"At least make it a good one,” said Rodger.

I raised my right hand and crossed my heart with my left. “I promise, on my honor as a member of Heron and as your best, most loyal, most fun counselor that I, Eren Jaeger, will tell a bedtime story tomorrow and it will be at least pretty good, even by Rodger’s standards.”

Erwin shook his head at this but shrugged. “Okay, now it’s lights out,” he reasserted before flipping the switch and clicking on his own flashlight to find his way back to the bottom of our shared bunk.

“Night, guys. Sleep well,” I whispered before snagging my bag of toiletries and shutting the door quietly behind me.

           

 

            The lanterns hanging off the sides of the showers glowed in the darkening night. Bugs hovered and buzzed about the fixtures, and moths slammed their tiny bodies against the glass. As another counselor cracked the door to venture inside, several of the creatures zoomed inside overhead. In the crack of light I could identify the guy in front of me. “Hey, whatcha doing, asshat? Letting all the bugs in two-by-two? Hurry up and shut the door.”

Jean glanced back and shrugged, slamming the door shut just an inch from my nose.

“Not like that, dickhead,” I grumbled, before opening the door again. I glanced around as I surreptitiously rubbed my nose: Marco stood at one of the sinks washing his face while the tall, dark skinned guy, Bertolt, hummed some tune as he brushed his teeth. His friend, the big blonde, Reiner, snapped a towel at his ass as he walked up next to him. Bertolt flushed a bright red, and Reiner simply grinned. At the sight of Jean in his mirror, Marco brushed a hand over his shoulder before splashing his sudsy face. I greeted Marco as I took the adjacent sink, asking of his day.

He shrugged. “Everything went as planned. The kids are cool, but it was just so weird…”

I arched a brow at him, “Weird?”

He shrugged again. “I don’t know. It’s just… my co-counselor? I think you know him.”

I met his eyes in the mirror with a curious glance, mumbling around the toothbrush I’d shoved in my mouth, “Who?”

“Levi? The short one?”

I grunted, motioning for him to continue.

“Anyways, like the kids were sort of scared of him at first, but they seem to be okay now.”

I spit into the sink. “So what’s the problem?”

He rubbed his face with his towel, speaking through the fabric. “I mean, it’s not exactly a problem. But it’s just weird. I… I don’t think he sleeps. Or he barely sleeps?”

“Huh?”

“Last night he grabbed a chair and just sat outside all night with a flashlight. I didn’t hear him even come in. I mean, I’m a heavy sleeper and the chair was gone by the time I woke up, but I didn’t see him ‘til like fifteen minutes after I woke the kids up and he started telling the kids what to do to clean up the cabin.”

“So he didn’t sleep?”

“Yeah. And I know it’s not really my business but he seems to be a good guy and I worry because I know if I don’t sleep I—“ He cut himself off. “I don’t know. It was just weird, and I’ve seen you guys talking so I figured you might know him a bit better than me right now so I thought maybe you could ask somehow if he’s okay and sleeping or whatever?”

I broke into a smile at that, clasping a hand over his shoulder. “I’ll see what I can do, but I think it’s all good, Marco. You really don’t need to wor—“

“I know. I know. I just do, so… I don’t know. Thanks.” I smiled and patted his back. The guy really did need to chill though. He’d make himself sick stressing like that.

 

 

            I was the last counselor out of the showers, and silence fell around me as I made my way back to Heron. The cabin was silent except for the whispered breaths of the kids. Wincing at the creak of the wood underfoot, I slowly closed the door behind me and tiptoed to my bunk, hanging my towel over the post and depositing my toiletries in their appointed shelf. Curling my toes over the rungs of the ladder, I crept up the bunk until—

“Counselor Eren?”

My foot missed a rung, and my knee banged into the railing. I muffled a curse before glancing at Erwin in the bunk below me. His quiet snores stopped briefly as he turned in his sleep before settling into his pattern again. “Hm? Go back to sleep. I’m just getting back from the showers.”

The quiet voice in the dark: “I can’t.”

I felt my brows knit as I peered into the dark. A thin figure sat huddled in blankets on his bottom bunk. “Anthony?” I whispered, recalling the bunk arrangements. Silence followed, so I crept to the bunk, sitting on the edge of the bed and placing my hand on his shoulder. He scooted closer, molding himself to my side. “What is it, bud? Why can’t you sleep?”

He rolled his head into my t-shirt, mumbling into the fabric, “Nightmares.”

“Have you tried going back to sleep again? Counting sheep? Thinking good thoughts?”

He shook his head into the fabric. “Doesn’t work.”

Rubbing his back with one hand and carding through his hair with the other, I hummed a little bit. I remembered nightmares at his age. Huge hulking figures and doctors with needles and cages, lots of cages. No, there was no going back to sleep after nightmares like that, but my mom had always gotten me to… Hmm. That was a thought. “Wanna go on an adventure?”

He rolled his head from my side to gaze up with those big moons of eyes, “Like what?”

“The kind where we fight the nightmares. Soldiers for sweet dreams.”

“Is there treasure at the end of the adventure?”

I paused. Would the kitchens be open? Well, I guess we’d figure it out. I ruffled his hair. “Two words: ice cream.”

He turned back into my side, and I felt his mouth stretch into a smile, felt his teeth through the fabric. “Okay.”

“Right then, grab your sandals.” He slithered down from the bed. “Quietly! This is our secret.”

 

            I gave him my flashlight to guard against monsters. Flashing it back and forth across the hill, we made our way to the kitchens. The leaves rustled in the nighttime breeze, and the crickets chirped from their homes among the blades of grass. The flashlight revealed a couple glowing sets of eyes, a couple alarmingly shaped bushes, several hulking trees, before flitting past with each step. That was until it stuttered to a stop: off to our right was another beam, hovering back and forth in short flicks of motion. Anthony stopped in his tracks and grabbed for my hand. “Come on, let’s go see. Easier to confront it then just run away.” He nodded just barely to my statement, his hand tightening its clammy clasp.

“Who’s there?” Anthony called out. The light in the distance stopped moving as we approached, our own light revealing silver eyes that reflected the beam back at us and the little glints of light bouncing off his piercings. He clicked his own flashlight off, shutting the novel he cradled in his lap. Here he was, just as Marco had described. “Hey, you’re, you’re the counselor from the skit. The one Eren,” here the kid tugged my hand, “was in.”

Levi looked to me and raised a brow. “Nightmares,” I mouthed. He gave a tiny nod to this, a light of understanding seeping into his gaze. I knelt to the ground next to Anthony, whispering in his ear, “You know, I bet Levi likes ice cream, too.”

Anthony glanced to Levi, eyes wide. “He’s sort of scary.”

“That’s because even the nightmares are scared of him. I hear he’s humanity’s strongest soldier. But you know, even soldiers get hungry.”

He bobbed his head resolutely, grabbing my hand again and squeezing as he whispered to Levi, “We’re on an adventure.”

Levi looked down on him, a warmness entering his eyes that melted ice of his gaze, “Oh yeah? What kind of an adventure?”

Anthony glanced to me, and I nodded in turn. “The kind with ice cream,” he said. “Do you, do you wanna come?”

“Well, if there’s ice cream…” He rose from his chair. “Lead the way.” And so we returned to our expedition with our newest soldier in tow.

 

            The shadows hung long and looming over the hall leading to the kitchen, leaving Anthony squirming and reaching not just for my hand but for Levi’s as well. When we finally came to the door at the end of the hall, we just stood and stared until with a little nudge to Anthony’s shoulder I said, “Come on. You open it.”

Reaching with both hands now, he clasped the doorknob, but nothing moved. He turned it the other way—nothing. Settling his hands on his hips, he frowned. But then turned at the rustling coming from behind him.

“Here, I think this will help you out,” Levi said, pulling a key ring out of the pocket of his black jeans. “You want me to do it or…?”

Anthony shook his head and grabbed the keys from his hand. Victory was in sight. The treasure was right here—“X” marked the spot. When the door creaked open, revealing the industrial sized appliances shining in the moonlight coming in from the windows, Anthony couldn’t contain his grin. “We’re here! We’re here!”

Walking past him, I ruffled his hair. “That’s right, kid. Now how about that treasure?” I opened the freezer and swept my eyes over the contents. “So we’ve got strawberry, vanilla…. Uh, caramel swirl… cookie dough aaand…. chocolate. Which do y—“

“Chocolate!” Anthony called out, hopping atop a tall stool near the counter in front of the closed service window. Meanwhile, Levi got out three dishes and silverware, washing them each twice and his hands at least that many times. They were a bright pink when he set the bowls out across the counter.

“Levi?”

“Strawberry for myself.”

Grabbing the strawberry, I tucked both under my arms and shut the door. Pulling up two chairs for Levi and me, as Levi scooped out the ice cream, I settled next to Anthony. Once he began digging into his bowl, I propped my cheek up on my hand. “How’s the treasure?”

“Gerd,” he mumbled around his mouthful of ice cream. Levi covered his mouth with his hand and turned away, squeezing his eyes shut at the sight. I felt myself smile at that. Of course he had a thing about talking with your mouth full.

“And the adventure? Feel like we defeated some of those nightmares?”

Anthony paused and swallowed, picking up his spoon to cut into his ice cream and stir the melted part. He shrugged.

I looked to Levi at this, and he leaned forward, closer to Anthony. “I don’t think Eren means you’ve got to get rid of all the nightmares right now, kid. Not even some of them. But you just need to understand that there are other people around here you can come to if you’re scared.”

My brows rose at his intercession, especially when Anthony nodded a bit before breaking into a smile. As did the corners of my mouth when Levi barely shrank away from his sticky-handed hug. Anthony then returned to his bowl of ice cream, and Levi met my gaze. His eyes softened when he saw me staring, but then he dipped his head to stare at a spot on the counter, using his fingernail to scrape at whatever infinitesimal speck was there.

 

 

            Levi ran a hand through Anthony’s flop of brown hair. “He’s a good kid, this one.” After nearing the bottom of his bowl, Anthony’s appetite had evaporated altogether, leading him to lay his head on his folded arms and fall asleep.

“Yeah,” I said. “Just seems so scared all the time. Wish I could do something, I don’t know. He’s wound up so tight, and he’s got this burgeoning friendship with this other boy, but still. I feel like he’s not enjoying himself, which is the worst. Camp was always such a good place for me as a kid.”

He slid some more ice cream into his dish, swirling the slightly melted portion with the new scoop. “Reminds me of me actually.”

I paused and glanced up. He had his head balanced on one palm, looking at the kid with this little sympathetic quirk to his lips, just barely detectable but there. “Oh?”

His eyes slid back to me. “Not everyone’s got the capacity to jump right in and deal with all this shit.” I felt my eyebrows come together in consternation. He added, “like you. Give him a bit; he’s just getting used to the water.”

“I’m just not so sure he can swim,” I mumbled, envisioning those panicked eyes over the huddle of covers.

Levi shook his head and spooned himself a mouthful of ice cream, tongue dabbing at the corner of his mouth, which was full but not big. Small in this delicate way that I wasn’t contemplating at all. He smirked. “Aside from the metaphor—that was cheesy as fuck, by the way—I think he’ll be fine. You’re doing well with him, anyway.”

I shrugged. “I figured ice cream and a stroll would be better than having him lie around in that strange bed and wait for sleep to come back. Now nightmares,” I pointed my spoon at him, “those I’ve got covered.”

He gave me a curious look but didn’t say anything. Instead we ate in silence, watching Anthony’s eyelids twitch as he navigated dreamland. Soon we finished up, and while Levi rinsed the dishes after washing them twice, I nudged Anthony awake, pulling him into my arms to sort of hang a bit over my shoulder. Good thing he was small for his age; any bigger and the kid would have had to walk himself back.

Once Levi had washed his hands several times after returning the bowls, ice cream, and silverware to their proper places, he pulled the keys from his pocket and led the way out the door.

“Did Erwin give you those?”

“Hmm?” He said, glancing up from his place leaning over the lock.

“The keys. Did Erwin make a copy for you?”

“Oh, um yeah. That was a while back though,” he said off-handedly.

“Yeah?” I realized I sounded a bit too hopeful.

Levi’s brows came together as he side-eyed me, replacing the keys in his pocket. “Yeah…”

Yeah… Okay, definitely too hopeful. I could feel the heat rising to my face, too, and decided to readjust Anthony in my arms a bit, if nothing else then to possibly hide the blood rushing to my cheeks.

Levi sighed and started for the glowing exit sign. I hurried to catch up and get a glimpse of his face, but it remained stony and unreadable as he said, “Listen, kid. I don’t know what—“

I broke in, “Do you do this every night?”

“Tch,” was his single sound of protest.

I felt myself blushing again. “I mean, not the midnight adventure, but, I mean, the whole not sleeping thing.”

No response. He just kept walking. I had to readjust Anthony again. Shit, the kid was heavier than he looked, and this man should not be so quick on such short legs.

I continued, “Because I was talking to Marco earlier, your co-counselor? And he said that he didn’t hear you come back in last night, and I know he was worried about you, which I’m probably not supposed to tell you, but that seems like a thing he does, but, anyway, yeah, we were wondering…”

“You were talking about me earlier?” He was smirking again, and I was blushing again.

“No, no. I mean, not like that. He was the one who brought you up, I just… He was worried. That’s all,” I huffed.

For a while there was just the sound of the plodding of our feet over the dirt path and patches of grass. Eventually, Levi was the one who broke the silence: “I don’t sleep well. Have trouble getting my brain to settle down. Have trouble keeping it settled down. The reading is the only thing that helps, and even then it’s not that great.”

“Oh,” I said, lost for words at his little confession. At some point, we’d returned to Levi’s cabin. I hadn’t noticed when.

“Yeah, so… Marco doesn’t need to worry.”

“Right.”

Levi just met my eyes for a moment, completely expressionless before reaching out a hand to ruffle Anthony’s hair. “Sweet dreams, kid.”

Anthony opened his eyes into little slits and mumbled blearily, “G’night, Levi.”

Levi smiled just a bit at this as he settled in his chair, picking up his book and opening it to the dog-eared page and turning on his flashlight. I turned to leave but stopped in my tracks when he called out, “You, too, brat. Sleep well.” Glancing over my shoulder, I caught the smirk that flashed across his face as he became absorbed in his novel.

“Sleep well, Levi,” I mumbled. I don’t think he heard me, but that fact still couldn’t stop the little of bubble of whatever feeling that was fizzing in my stomach. Somewhere between the smirks and the ice cream, I had somehow managed to chip away a little layer of steel in his gaze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For future reference (now that I've introduced most of it), the schedule looks like this:  
> 7:30-45 Wake-up Call  
> 8:00 clean up  
> 8:15 though of day  
> 8:30 breakfast  
> 9:30 morning adventure—counselor’s choice  
> 11:00—1st activity  
> 12:00 lunch  
> 1:00 rest  
> 2:00 2nd activity  
> 3:15 Group Swim/snack  
> 4:30—afternoon adventure—counselor’s choice (often cabins team up on this one)  
> 6:15 gather/sing  
> 6:00 dinner  
> 7:00—evening activity  
> 8:00—Camp activity  
> 10:00—bed
> 
> Eren's activities that he is leading: 1st--Beginner's Swimming Lessons; 2nd--Waterskiing 3rd--Kayaking


End file.
